| Fan Expo- Alone! |
[Aug. 10th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
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I'm most probably going to Fan Expo- as Naruto, o' course. Dammit, though, I'll be lonely- 'cause none of my freinds are coming with me. TT Eh, maybe I'll meet some new freinds- I hope. I'm going on the Friday, the Saturday, and the Sunday- I'm hopefully going to get my godmother to drive me the second two days, my mom to drive me the first. With, of course, some car washing, e.t.c. I'll have no money to buy anything at the market, but that's allright- I only want to go to meet other cosplayers; and of course, to cosplay! XD. I'm distantly stuck between going as Naruto or Sasori, though, dammit. |
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| OTAKUTHON!!! |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|09:15 am] |
Well, I just got back from Otakuthon.
Man, was that FUN!
I went with my friend kaitlyn; I cosplayed as Naruto. She cosplayed as 'random charecter with a white dress'. Then 'random akatsuki member'
Allright. I entered the masquerade, made out with a random Sasuke cosplayer I don't know for a donut, saw guys make out- for the first time in my life- for a donut, failed to get the email address of said Sasuke who I made out with for a donut, failed to get email adress of many cool people who were at the place where guys were making out for donuts, saw the BEST Gai and Lee cosplay I'd ever seen, seen another GREAT Naruto cosplayer, posed for pictures with two of the BEST Sakura and Sasuke cosplayers ever,((They both like yaoi)), posed for 1000 years of pain with a Kakashi, posed for a team seven pic, tried to dance the 'waka waka'- or whatever it's called- met many cute Hinatas, played the anime mystery dating game and ended up winning- I ended up getting together with Mario O.o, and meeting two great freinds- not sure what they were cosplaying- though one was a tayuya, I know that- and agreeing to meet again, saw a kankurou cosplayer who thought I didn't like yaoi cuz I was embaressed about my watching two guys make out, saw a VERY cute girl with blue hair who was at the Yoai free for all, and a cute Edward who was at the free for all as well, got to hug him later, saw Riato and L kiss- handcuffed to eachother- saw Sasuke and Itatchi kiss, ate ramen and pocky, posed for many photos.
And much more.
Yes, I had hell of alot of fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|11:51 am] |
This one I drew a few minutes ago... <3
This one's of Naru tickling Sasu when they're young... plain idiocy on my behalf, but I was BORED!
 |
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| Continuation |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|09:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Tv Screen | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | If I were gay | ] |
I saw the 'chasing sasuke' vid on youtube... wai... I can't believe I was on it... man, I make a retarded Naruto. Oh well! XD! I'll try better next year! I miss me'n my freinds Hugging Buddies! There was a Sai, and an Ino, and a Sakura- named Cassie?- at Anime north that were our Hugging Buddies! Me'n the Sakura've agreed to coordinate our outfits for next year, and I'm HOPING she can come over some time this summer. I also want to invite my freind Kaitlyn up to Jessies cottage. I've got to post my art here sometime soon... maybe I'll do that in my next Entry- which I'll add today! I'm watching Lazy Town right now- SUCH a lame show, but HILARIOUS to watch. Huh. Maybe I AM more idiotic then I thought.
I have to redo grade 9 next year in a 'specail school' because I spent so much time in the hospital this year. Have I mentioned that? Arghishness, it's soooo annoying. I feel like an idiot. A grade #1 idiot. And I'm on a writers and drawers block- it was recently Envy's birthday, and now it's Slayne- so many birthday pics to draw! Not to mention Skype... damn... I attract alot of Newbs... stupid username. I'm Aimhope- WHO in their right mind would search that? Oh well... I'm ranting now, Gomen ne, I'll shut up now. |
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| Woot! Hyperness! |
[Jun. 17th, 2007|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Desk | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Omg... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Pain, your thrill- an itasasu song | ] |
I've joined Youtube as SasukesHusband! <3! I'm listening to Mirror, Mirror for Gaara and Naruto- they say it's Gaanaru vid, but it's actually just those two as freinds. XD. I've noticed alot of vids say they're yaoi, and turn out freind vids. Not that I mind, actually. Man, I'm obsessed with cosplay. I need to find a job that would cover the expenses for my Time Skip Naru costume- and I need to start to train for my cosplaying- get fit again, get energetic again, so I won't be a - BLAH- Naruto, like I was at Anime North. I SWEAR, I was blah. I heard about Anime cubed, in otowa- wai, don't think I spelled it right- even though it's even four years old, I'm thinking if I get word of it around the net enough, alot of people might go... wah, I sound like an idiot. WHY'm I such a baka? Wai, I wanna cosplay with Swedish!Sasuke again, or the Uber Cool Atkatsuki that kept kidnapping me again... Normal life is getting me bored, lazy, and depressed. >>;;;;
I went to my freind Kaitlyns place this weekend, yesh, yesh I did. And she got me re-hooked on sailer moon. WTF! And we ended up concluding Sailer Mars is Sasukes Sexy no Jutsu form, and Sailor Moon is Naruto's, and took their relationsship as further proof of Naru-Sasuness... yes, we're retardedly obsessed with that couple. Then we made a crack world, where FMA charecters were Naruto charecters, but that made our Naru Sasu addiction falter in the face of THIS Naru and Sasu getting together; But it makes ITASasuness all the more lovely, a' course!-
Sasuke: Edward
Itatchi: Envy
Kisame: Greed
Naruto: Wrath((WTF?))
Orochimaru: Danta
Gaara: Nina((Omg Aww...))
Gaara's Uncle: Tucker
Neji: Russel
Hinata: Fletcher((Awww!))
Oh! I have to get off now!
I'll write the rest of this tommorow- sayonara! |
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| Anime North Convention |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|01:15 pm] |
I've dyed my hair blue. And just gotten back from the best Anime Con ever! I went as Naruto, and met a sugoi Swedish Sasuke! Kokkoi! There was also a kokkoi time skip Sakura, Ino, and Sai which were amazing cosplayers. I kept getting kidnapped by these atkatsuki cosplayers which kept carrying me away- though one time a Hinata tried to protect me, and another time a Sasuke TRIED. TRIED being key word.There was this security gaurd guy- REALLY strong, carried my piggy back. I met the kawaaii Sasuke and Akito again- their art is AMAZING- but the Sasuke was dressed differently- and I think I met one of their freinds. And me and my freinds gave out freee hugs, which really weirded some people out... but they made me feel oddly happy, as if there was a sense of... well, open trust between mostly everyone at the cosplay convention. I posed for yaoi pictures, and also for some group ones, and I also did some amusing skit involving Sasuke, fangirls, and Sakura-chan. I met tons of cool people, and I can't talk about them all- but...
I had the most fun I've had in a long time! Oh, and I also joined the fashion show... =^^= Sorry for talking your ears off. |
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| TEH- RANDOMNESS |
[May. 4th, 2007|01:27 pm] |
Dammit! I just got back from three months in the mental hospital. I was admitted into the Emergancy ward a week after christmas- I was FINNALLY allowed to leave three months later, though I still had to visit every morning. I'm done with that now, though.
But NOW I go to school each morning, and it's so~0 boring, though next year I'll be able to take up hairdressing and cooking, and relearn the other subjects. I'm so bored, lately- I need sleepovers every weekend to keep from getting lonely, and that's just PATHETIC! =^^= It's hard to catch up in projects- I'm currently doing a project on seals and the debates related to the hunt. Gwargh. I'm in a writers and artists block, so it's hard for me to focus now.
I apparently have;
Manic Bipoler
Dissosiative Identity disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Severe Depression
Action Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder; Combination
GAH! So annoying! And I coughed up blood a week ago. Hmph. Stupid blood got on my favourite grey sweater- It's GIANT, like a house coat! Squee! > |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2006|09:15 pm] |
WWWWAAAAAAAI~~~<3 I'm so happiful! Yesterday- was it yesterday- Yeah, yesterday! I went to an anime comnvention- I'm gonna have to babysit 15 times to pay off the money it took to get the costume, but it was worth it, dattabayo- and, and, it was the wrong place- me and my best-best-best freind Mira-chan went there, 'cause her mom drived her aaaaalll the way from hamilton to get her here for a sleeeeepover paaaaaaarty for haaaalloween- so, so, we checked in the phonebook, and, and, it was actually in the Japanese Canadian Cultural Center, and it was an HALLOWEEN PARTY hosted by anime north! And, and, Cassie and Emmy were there, and.....
I made sooo many new freinds, hai! I made freinds with a girl dressed as Hawkeye, and, and, her freind-everyone there was soooooo sugoi, and cool, and yeah!- and, and, I met these two girls- THEY WERE SO NICE AND KAWAAI AND COOOOOOL!- One of 'em was dressed as Sasuke- she looked alot like him! It was awesome!- and she asked me to pose in some pictures with her, 'cause I was the only Naruto there, so I did, and it was fun, and I got POCKY! And, and, she did some coool Naru pixel art on her Cell Phone, and the other girl who was Akito from Airgear let me glomp her- Yeah, some people asked me to hug them, I don't know why, but I hugged one person to hard, It was a guy dressed as Edward and and it was kokkoi but I'm sosososososo GUILTY cause I think I scared him. And a few others asked me to take their pictures, but Of the peoiple there I liked the Sasuke and Akito girls the bestest 'cause they were cool and one of 'em liked Yaoi! And, and, and, I looked sooo weird and freaky in the pictures 'cause I'm ugly like that, but, I don't mind 'cause I got Pocky! There was also someone there a freind of the two girls with a bear? hat, who liked shiny things, and a random people who were dressed as Haku, Zabuza, and Sasuke, and the Zabuza let me wap the TOTOTOTOTOOOOOOOOOOOTAAALLLL Sasuke on the head- another Sasuke, not the one with the nice Akito girl- on the head with his sword. AND PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY NICE TOO ME ! I actually fit in for once! And it was fun, and I felt..... HAPPY! The only thing I'm sad about is I glomped the guy to hard so I'm guilty, I missed the karaoke, I can't do ddr worth.... er... badword... and I missed the ramen. Besides that, I had the TIME OF MY LIFE!
Oh yeah, dattebayo! The sleepover was funfun, though wehen she left, Mira-chan looked upset with me, so I was sad all the way home. I'm going halloweening on tuesday as Naruto, but I have noone to go with, but it's 'k, cause at least I got to go to the Hallowween thing! 'Nyways, I'm about to go to read stuff, so bye bye! I'm so hyper on pocky right now...
Sorry for annoying you,
AIM! |
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| My Life Story- Part#1 |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|07:13 pm] |
This is bassically my life story, first part.... ^^;... It's kind of stupid to post it, but...
Chapter 1
When Julia Bareau was seventeen years old, she and -unknown- had a baby. Now, juring the pregnancy, she took various drugs, alchohal, and engaged in sexual activities, and -unknown- left her, not feeling the need for a child. She herself, a dependent person, shaped the child into a perfect ideal in her mind, someone to allways depend on. She didn't want a daughter- she wanted a savior, a perfect angel.
When Mia-Elieen was born, she was overjoyed. However, she continued dabbling in the above listed activities, sometimes even forgetting her child for small spaces of time. As well as lullabies, she told the girl about life, it's realities, and the few... 'joys'.... in reality. When she misbehaved, she didn't scold. Never once teaching her about 'morals', 'manners', 'society', 'wrong', or 'right', she instead taught her her own beliefs. However, Mia understood that Julia didn't want her-she wanted some ideal. So, she did what she knew- Pretended. Acted like she was that ideal. For that was her only skill. Pretending.
And the childs mind slowly drifted apart into different sections, parting into different... well, minds. Julia, who'd been- well, pimped out, by her grandfather-a pedophile- as a child, left Mia under his care- it is unknown what occured juring that time. Now, when Mia turned two years of age, two things occured to match the number- Julia grew pregnent after a one night stand with an old friend, and Childrens Aid began to show an interest in the children. Mia eventually ended up having to, added to her chores, protect Vivian from the realities of thier life, taking all the damage for her.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v668/Aimhope/omanme.jpg
Then, the day before Mia turned four, the two were taken away from Julia, and sent to the foster home, and was miserable without her beloved birth Mother. The foster home had been arranged to try to give the children an better atmosphere before they were adopted. However, the foster parents weren't exactly child lovers.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v668/Aimhope/foster.jpg
In fact, any child under three, besides their adopted child, Katie, they didn't know how to handle. So, to deal, they locked her in a dark cupboard for hours on end, made her sleep on an matress on the floor infront of their bed, and veritably starved her, washing her mouth out with soup. And it was once, when Mia was locked in the cupboard, when it occured. Mia's mind snapped into many different personalities, fragmented from her imagination.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v668/Aimhope/KAITA.jpg
However, when she first met a child her age, on the playground climber, they pushed her off. School was a new sort of hell. Not knowing the common restrictions, she tried her best to meet them, but failed. One day, however, when in a playground, she met a woman named Leona. She greeted her with the words,
'Hello. My name's Mia. Mommy gave me away 'cause I'm bad'.
Half a year ago, she was adopted by the woman. And assumed it was happilly ever after. After all, she had a dog, a mom- what could be better?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v668/Aimhope/genny.jpg She learnt soon- never let assumptions get the better of you. |
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| 0.o The oddity continues |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|09:21 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | COMPUTER | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE | ] |
I... cut off my hair and dyed it red. O.o.Wai! I ate TEN whole bowls of ramen today, and started on a manga called Dame, which I actually think after a few weeks work, might make it as a full fledged Manga! It's a mixture of Shonen Ai and adventure, rated 15+. My chests felt more hollow then late- I mean usually I have this empty feeling, right? But now it just hurts. It's odd. I think maybe I've eaten too much over the years... I'm going for a gifted test soon. Wonder how it'll turn out? I picked Danforth for the highschool I'm going to, and I'm not sure I've made the right decision... I mean, I'll have no freinds there! But, Eh- I bet I'll meet tons of new people! I've began to babysit for money- I'm saving up for SOMETHING, I just don't know WHAT yet!
And that's the end of my idiotic, spazz-tic entry. |
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| Randomness continues... |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|06:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | ANYWHERE! | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Basket Case | ] |
My favourite sites, and Accounts.
I've got:
http://z15.invisionfree/Yaoi_rpg
And,
Aimhope at Inuyasha_Journey
http://www.gaiaonline.com
kyunaru@hotmail.com is for work and contacts.
notashrimp92@hotmail.com is for freinds.
twelvethstrang@yahoo.com is for groups.
Aimhope at Deviantart.com
XD. I've figured out, I think, what I'm saving up for. Well, my fave manga's Naruto, right? Well, I've decided to go to the Anime North Halloween Party as Uzumaki Naruto! After all, for some odd reason, my freinds say we're alike... >> I dunno why. I can't wait- I hope I'll meet some Sasuke-teme's or Sakura-chans there! I've recently improved in my art- I think. I've recently gotten into yaoi as well- Narusasu, and EnvyEd, and other such pairings, though some others might seem very unlikely. Like, for some weird reason, kankerouxKiba. Where'd that come from!? I'm blabbering now, and I really should stop- but I ate so much suger, I think I'm a little too hyper... |
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| Awa! Here are a few song's in romaji.. and.. I wrote them. So... yeah. |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|02:02 pm] |
Oowa reta kage
Karui
hasoshite 2 bu no
no kage no
dearu kurai
1 no
ha akaru i yoru
no kanashi sano
no
gaanatatada
shinjitsu no
hadearu nando nna omote men ga watashi ni
no kurai
kumo no
no suitai no
zokusuru ka
ha mugen jigoku no
ni neverending sora no
noyouna akaru i
dearu miru kotogadekiru haji no
made
no
ha watashi
dearu
watashi
noanataga totsuzen
ga tsui teiru
watashi no meno
ni shi youdearu seimei ha
nakano
no masuku no
wo watashi gasorerawo mini tsuke teiru watashi no yuujin no
nutta watashi no mira^ no
dearukotowo miru beki chansu no
notamenoshibaraku bishou dekiru matte iru
no
niyotte maze rareru hi dearu baai moari , aru nani ga tango hadatta naniu sono
watashi hasono jikan no
wo
wo watashi no jishin no
de sakusei sarerukono michi no
ni watashi nomasani seishin no
niyottega
subete kanzen na
niyottega migi no
niyottega machigatta
no seimei
niyottega douchakugohou no
dearu allways dearu sakusei
no shippai dearudearu nanimo kaba^ shinai garasu hanashi ta
~Owari~
Ishi niyotte I ha
Ga mitsu keteageru watashi ga
no
womada watashi no kokoro no
o toushi te 1 tsuwo nara su onaji shitsumon mainichi mainichi matte iruto doujini kaze ga watashi no kioku
no chuuzou wo toushi tesorerawo hanare ta
fuku node nami ga watashi no jukushi no sukyan kaigan no
nihahodo tooi keredomo
ga mae ni seishitsu no jishin no
niyotte kakure ru
no hason wo nen no
wo watashi gaanatano kotae no
wo yuusu runodedearu watashi ga nagai
tokini matte ita haji no
no watashi no tango no rakka apon no sora no mimi no
ga tooi
ni kyuushi shitatokorode , soshitesorekara betsuno nichi ga
wo watasu , soshite rakujitsu ga atae ru
sokoniinakattato doujini watashi ga
kesshite tassu rukotogadekinai itta
horizen watashi no fi^to de kasanari au mizu ha tanomi ,
ga tsui teiru kaiyou soreha watashi no me gasorerawokamoshirenaimonono watashi ga
tsukamaetakamoshirenaiga ,
watashi ga
kurai jigoku no
nikorobukotowo kyoka shitayoudearu shitagatte odaya kana
mizu iku kotowo kyoka shita
wo shimesu niha amari niobieta teno mada hiroge rareta
utsusu shoku no
dearu kondo bakariha watashi no tega iku watashi ga jibunjishin wo watashi ga watashi gasorekarano sekai no
karadearu
karano hitsuyou na hogo zutto watashi no uragiri no benkai ga hanasa reteita
no takusa reta
dearukadarewo watashi niyottegaanatano yuiitsu ni anatano eiyuu no
datta haji no
ni watashi ha 1 sai datta monsuta^ oyobi oni no hogo shita watashi no yakusoku no
wo kowashi ta
shippai shita
kanou nishi ,
ni watashi nosasayakareta hiai no
nodoremo bunsho niyoru shazai haanatano omote men he hanasa reteita
saido denai watashi ga
sorewo ukeire taito omowa nakattaga , kore haji no nanika no owari
ima nanimo motsu kotogadekinakattaga , kesshite watashi wo henshoku saseruniha moumoku
wo amari nimodatta
ha tango gausono
niyotte kansen shitanode
wo oyobi kiri wo miru koe no
to hanasa reteita
datta daremo motte iru watashi oyobi watashi
dakesou ima
wo sarani betsuno tsumi no
watashi ga mawaru anatano unseeing meno
no
no sekinin nisurubekidenaiga , kotowoanataga dissapeared
wo takushi ,
wo hanasa reteita torinozoi ta jitsugen surubeki I hajime nakatta
musabori kui , watashitachi no kako no
no treaterous shio kara mawaru
no ueno akaru i sora ni watashi no jukushi no
womohayadearuyori nagai here
No niyotte watashi matte iru
wodekiru shitagatte watashi ha watashi no haibu oyobi omote menzen hou
wo oyobi jibunjishin wo jiyuu ni oku tameni watashi no koukai karano
mawasu mawasu umi no jikan no
no mizo no watashi no haibu; watashi no mirai no
notame
‾Owari‾
Watashi wa Metsuo desu. Eigo ga hanasemasuka? Sugoi! Then I hope you wouldn't mind reading the rest of this entry in english, because I'm not fluent in Kanji- messed up version of song in kanji-
私は憎らしな凝視によって待っている私の夢の時間までに時間によって待っている私の生命中ここに1 日来る本当私が私によってが1 日私強い私がすべてをI はだった何私が重荷をよく取ることは不公平であることを今言う私に左右される守ることそこにいる私の特別な人々全員を保護することそこにいるあなたに誓うこれ待っていて、私の剣をであり、私の暗闇がライトと共に散らす私は2 で裂けない諺のドラゴンをと、ことを私は精神の保護装置殺害することを今私が誓った私がこれらの弁解私の夢から若かった告げられる握らない私をときに私が私の単語を与えたあることのための私の生命他のための取り替えは私が離れて見る立てる夢を失ったこれと比較される私の中心が小さいことを私が約束した及び私は殺害の中のこの苦痛はであるもの私他が住んでいる私の表面の下で追跡する破損か日であるが、まだ傷つけることを学ぶ約ありし、と同時に私を誓い、壊すことを多く今によって私が世界の利益にいかに誰か承認自分自身を証明できるか厳粛な目と私は私のマスクを身に着けている私の中心を隠すためにちょうど外へ向かあり、偽のミステリーを作成することをにやにや笑うために育って、疲れているなっていないより古く私をもう動かしたいと思ってはいけないことを私がそれらを約束した私のアリバイないかそして無視されて私はである停止私が正直な間違いモンスターであるが、ここに今日従って私を無視する停止が私を悩ます停止私私が私が私の待ち時間の終わりのための変更に私のチャンスのために達する私の背部の後ろで笑っている間私が従って近いそう保持するこの夢を達成する私の自身の人であることを知っている ‾Owari‾
Same song in english-
I'm here
Waiting throughout my life
Waiting through time by time
Waiting through hateful stares for
My dream
Will one day come true
This I swear to you
I will one day be strong
I'll be there to protect
All my special people
I'll be there to defend
All that depend on me now
They say it's unfair
For me to take the burdens
Well what was I when I was young
These excuses being told
Won't hold me back from my dream now
I swore I'd be
The protector of souls
And I'll
Take up my sword
And I'll slay
The proverbal dragon
My darkness
Will dissipate
Along with the light
And I won't be split in two no more
I promised
And I'm not about to break
I swore
My heart is small compared to this
I gave my word
And my life
For the sake of being
An replacement
For others lost dreams
I stand apart
Watching as others
Live and learn
Tears tracking down my face
Or they would be any day
But it still hurts
What's this pain inside
Killing me now
It won't be my alibi
I promised them
With solemn eyes
I will wear my mask
And grin outwardly
Lying and creating false mysteries
Just to hide my core
Don't want to run anymore
I'm growing tired and not
Getting any older
How can I
Prove myself to the world
Gain someone's acknowledgement
And stop being ignored
I know I'm an monster
An honest mistake
But here today
So stop
Ignoring me
Stop
Teasing me
I am my own person
I will achieve
This dream I hold so close
So while you're laughing behind my back
I'll be reaching
For the chance
For me
To change
For the
End
Of my wait
~Owari~
Other various songs- not all of them-
It ring's through
My mind
Like some twisted
Lullaby
Spreading wing's
And casting feather's of doubt
Poisoning my word's
And causing tear's
Of nothingness
To fall down my smiling mask
To not see beyond my false word's
Is not an hard task
To fall for my pretend game
Is all I've really asked
I ask you for no pity
While I yearn for answers
I act like I scorn sympathy
While talking lies for attention
I'm searching for
Something
That doesn't even exist
A place where an creature like me
Experiment's can exist in peace
I'll I've ever asked for
Is for my name to be known
I don't want to be erased
Another nameless person gone
I want to be seen
As I wasn't as a child
I wondered if the reality
Was harsher then my nightmares
Why do I seek peace
I deserve the pain I hold
Why do I wish for
Something I'll never gain
Why am I empty
Other's have lived worse lives
So why do I feel sorry for me
Am I that egotistical
I don't deserve it I'm a freak
My mind's twisted
I'm in the wrong body
Why me being me
Am caught in an fairytale
With
No
Happy Ending's
Is it just a saying
That if you try hard enough
Your dream's will come true
Haven't I waited long enough
I don't want love based
Off of an family dream
I won't take based
On sorrow from my past
All I've ever been
Is an replacement for other's dream's
Don't I even have the right
To ask for my
Own Light
to banish the abyss
The shadowed nothingness
The hatred I'm hiding from
Even now
They hate me for my action's
Which I acted apon myself
I just don't know
What is what
Why is why
How I feel
Every time of
My life
Makes no sense
Shouldn't really exist
I've read ton's of stories
With the same plot line
If I explained it you'd think I'm lying
Why do I feel like crying
I tell tales all the time
But when I tell the truth
I'm binded
To a past
I didn't have
Which other people told
All I want to know
Is who I was
~Owari~
I see the people screaming
sends my heart off teeming
with regret or rabid joy I do not know
Shame does not come easily
A state of mind unfamilier to me
wishes and dreams gone unheard
And here they preach their fairy tales
spinning silver threads of fantasy
and here I am waiting
Waiting for some reasons why....
I see the people crying
I don't feel much like sighing
Pity is not my usual set of mind
Havoc and incrueldity
Those are commen feelings for me
Disgust and hate
for the human race
See the abonded children
See the crying mothers
Having lost all that they care for
See the hand built weapons
Single mindedly destroying
The very life we
Seek to protect
The very world
We wish to set right.
My common set of mind
I'm no genius
I'm a failure
waiting for my mind to act
urges are not to be acted apon
Violence is not advised
so I sit and wait
wait for the day
When Mayhem and Chaos Reign...
And see thier faces as they realize
I'm not who they see
My face is false
identity sowed
to hide the emotions most close to me
All I feel
For this race
All I feel
For myself
Is.
Hate.
~Owari~
I don't understand
How I should feel
Emptiness has filled me
There's a dark void inside of me
With each minor loss the abyss spreads
Eating
My memories
My essence away
I'm slowly
Fading
With each step back wards-
Stop
Where's the person I used to be
The person who used to delight in life
Now look at me
I've got a different soul
I just don't know
Who I am now
It isn't who I was
It's someone new
Someone with no heart or life
Where I used to laugh
Bitterness is my only song
But I want to change
I don't the same
Anymore
Don't want
To mourn anymore
So
Watch me
Go hand to hand
With my fear and anger
And I'll wash away the pain
Which holds me back
And the darkness will clear
And I'll find a way
Find away
To banish the nothingness inside
To fill the emptyness inside
I want to
Anchor myself
To this world
Bind away
The hatred
And you'll see me
Laughing smiling once again
And I'll forget my past
And set myself free
The sun will finnally come out
To banish the nothingness
And I'll see
I'll see my face
In the mirror and not a bunch of lies
No more crying
Hating
And lost meanings
No more mind numbing pain
And I'll smile and see the earth
As it's meant to be seen
And I'll go hand to hand with my dreams
And I'll achieve all I couldn't all I wouldn't
All I never would have
Before
Before I regained myself
Regained Regained
From the hollow shell I was
Regained Regained
From the empty dark abyss
Regained Regained
All I ever was
Could have been
Should have been
I want to see the sun
For how it is
I wanna see the world
For the joy it can be
And you'll see me
Happy once more
~Owari~
Darkness bleed's to light
Light into dark
Shadow's into bright
Unforgiving stars
Angels Hark around
The slaughter grounds of Life
Seeking warmth
In the cold of day
Wishes and dreams
Fragile fantasies
Dying now
With every breath I take
Death growing close
Yet severely wished for
Tears tracking down
An emotionless face
Words unspoken
Night by day by night
Names unknown
As others pass away
Knowlage brimming
As death fades into life
Circles of diminished passions
Hopes lost soon
After they are born
Human thoughts
Storming one by one
Cluttering death
Are the living's many actions
One thread broken
And another is sown
And the slaughter grounds of life
Are seeded with the dead
Slaughter grounds of death
Are seeded with the living
Yin meet's Yang
In an never ending
Vertigo of Time
One by one
Here we fall
Day by Night
Soon we all
Will meet our end
Effortlessly
Feeble smiles
Masked attempts
False meaningless emotions
Brimming in cold hearts
What is the use
Of humaniod stupidity
Falling down
Not getting up
Soiling the floors
Of the line
Between Time
And the Hope
Between Fate and Wishes
Conspiracies
Of nothingness
Which dreams are real or masked
~Owari~
Hey
Don't patronize me
For simple beliefs
Which I have
Every right of having
So stop spreading those lies
Told time after time
Telling false tales
Planted for my demise
Whatever did I do to you
Whatever did I say
To make you treat me this way
I may hang on the street
But Hey that's just me
There's no one else I could
Be
I have many different faces
They are what make me
I can't erase them
If you have a problem with me
Keep it to yourself
You want me to act like you
Thinking I'd like the thing's you'd do
Well I'm so sorry
But I just can't be
Every one else
There's no one but me
I could be
No one else
I'd rather see
In the mirror
Get out of my face
I'm not a bunch of flower's
You can rearrange
Stop bothering my freind's
It's between us two
And no one else
So if you think you can manipulate this
You're going to lose
If you're gonna say something
Say it to my face
Or just shut up for good
I've had it with your lies
Had it with all the times
I've walked in on you
Critisising those that stand by me
I can't stand it
Unlike you
Being a sheep isn't fine for me
I've got a face
I've got a name
There's no one else I could be
I have a face
I have an ego
What I'm doing is living
And that's not illigal
Hang up the phone right now
I have nothing more to say
Right now
This moment
I have flaws
I have my skills
But it's all my personality
If you want to try
To change me go ahead
You'll be spelling out your end
Teasing
Isn't going to flip my opinion
And that's never going to change
So stop getting in my face
I'm not afraid of you
I'm just living my life
~Owari~
And.. yeah.... that's all so far... and, no, These are not ALL dark song's- just.. allot of them... and no, I don't write them according to my mood.. they kind of ... write themselves.
Eheh.
=^^=
Bye... |
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| No idea what to do,so I'm posting song's I wrote in romanji, and art of mine, and a few fanfictions. |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
.ME.
Well, doesn't that sound self centered.... but honestly, that's the only thing I could think of. I'm unimaginative today- and I'm blaming it on...... .... ... The wall. Because it's boring to stare at.
Yo folks, my name's Aim and Ramen's my game! I'm fourteen... and have no idea what to put on this site.. so I guess I'll just blabber on about myself. I like manga, ramen, training, sparring, reading, writing, songs, poety, sketching- doujinshi, fanfictions, and cosplaying! I also recently got into this site called Gaia, with the accounts I[M]ag[I]n[A]tion, Aimhope, ~'Kirika`~,Cheerfully Insane, and ~`Wolfdog`. I'm a girl, but I have multiple personalites- such as Kirika, Hope, and Aim- but they're not violent or anothing, nor do I let them out when people are frightened by them. I've learnt ALOT of people don't like me or are creeped out by the fact I have personalities, so I often just pretend I don't. I've never been to an anime convention before. My best freinds are Mira, Chiara, Kaitlyn, Heather, Maria, my freinds are Alexandra, Kearan, and this girl from holland I met at a swimming pool.
Fav Manga and Anime;
Naruto
Full Metal Alchemist
Gravitation
Eerie Queerie
Full Moon wo Sagashite
Inuyasha
(Place any CLAMP book here)
Ororon
And on and on and on and on the list goes...
I also like cosplaying, the three I do best are Gaara, Edward, and Naruto, seeing as my hair can go either way, and my hair is natural gold(kinda freaky gold, actually) but I look like a natural red head, and my eyes change colour from blue to teal. My favourite food's RAMEN, Sweet and Sour Chicken balls, icecream, SUGER,suger, suger, suger- aaaand ice cappachino with extra-extra-extra cream. Allright, that blabbering there; Ignore it.
I also love technology, and training for karate, as it's amusing. My favourite animals are kitsunes, neko, and inu.
I'm blabbering now, so I'll shut up.
Gomen ne!
Jaa mata, ~ Aim Ogden |
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